Despite the impression I gave yesterday, celebrating Thanksgiving today was a blessing, both emotionally and physically. Emotionally, my mind wasn't on Adam. Perhaps because all my tears were spent yesterday. Or perhaps because I was finally with my family. I truly missed my sister, as much as we do and don't get along. With family around, I needed to help my dog get rid of excess energy. He's extremely hyper, even after walking him 2 miles, even after carrying him another 2 miles. Yes, I walked 4 miles today! My determination to stick with my weight watchers goal is high. Nothing can come between me and my weight loss. I know that it will work out this time around. I can't wait to be my goal weight. I can't wait to fit into my favorite jeans. I can't wait to see my husbands reaction when he sees me in December. I can't wait for the new me.
I absolutely hate Thanksgiving and Black Friday. You know how people get depressed and lonely during Christmas..that is me on Thanksgiving. I am grateful for everything in my life and I do try to see the bright side of things, but I can't feel good on this holiday.
It's not a holiday to me, it's the saddest day for me. I lost my very first pet on Black Friday, November 25, 2011. My 15 year old dog passed away; my husband found him dead in the swimming pool. He was old, so I was prepared for him to pass in every natural way possible. I wasn't prepared for him to pass by accident. The pain I felt literally made that evening the most Black Friday ever. Death is just hard to bare, but even more so on holidays. I know most people would say it's just a dog, but this pet of mine was my family. He was my little comfort during all the hard times in my life. As a child, my parents went through a bad divorce. When I had to move to different homes, I didn't have my friends close, but I always had my dog. He watched me grow from a little 10 year old to a grown adult and at 25 years old...I thought I could take care of him forever, the way he took care of me. I really regret not paying attention to him the day he passed away. A part of me is still angry and blames other people for not watching him as well. My anger and sadness goes against all of what Thanksgiving is all about. Yet, I can't deny my feelings, which is why I choose to be home without family this holiday. Why drag anyone down and why force myself to be happy? I don't need those things. My sadness during this holiday remains because this is the first year anniversary of his death. I don't know if it will remain next year, or the year after. But what I do know is that my hate for this holiday is great, and I can't expect myself to jump for joy at turkey, pumpkin pie, and stuffing. The end! This is a progress report from my WeightWatchers (TM) website. What I've learnt about myself from using this tool is that I eat way more in the evening than I do in the morning. I also feel as if I cannot control my hunger at night, it's a beast that does not sleep.
remember back in the old days, points values used to include calories and items seemed to be less points.
With that said, I can't believe that my favorite McChicken is 10 pts! Looks like I'll need to cut down on these $1 fat traps! |